Feeling God

I have been in a Spiritual crisis this past week. I haven't been able to eat much, maybe nothing to a half peanut butter banana sandwich a day. Total. For me not to be able to eat you know that is was serious. This is the second one that I have had in the past 4 or 5 years. I know that God is real, but I couldn't feel it anymore. I know you are not supposed to go by feelings but by faith. Sometimes I NEED to feel Jesus in my heart. After pouring my heart out to God, almost constantly praying I am getting my peace back. And my appetite. Which the appetite part is not necessarily a good thing. I had some yogurt for breakfast and a hotdog for lunch. A lot better than I had been doing. Feeling God back in my heart can't be described. I had felt so hopeless, lost, unloved, forgotten..... You get the idea. I thank him so much for His Word. I love the seek and you shall find and knock and it will be opened to you. I really don't see how anyone can live their life without Jesus in it. It was my fault that I slipped away. I hope I never do again. It is soooo painful. Having Jesus in your life is so wonderful. If you don't have him in your life just invite him in. It's the best thing that ever happened to me and it will be for you also.

Panic Attacks and Januarys

Well another January and another problem with panic attacks. For some reason for the last three or four years every January I start having panic attacks about my health. What gives? I'm sure there is a reason but I just can't figure out why. I have found two lumps in my lower regions this past two weeks but they have been sore like a risen. (sp?) I have heard if they are sore that there is probably not a problem to worry about. I have prayed about my feelings and it helps for a little while but eventually the panic comes back. God is in control and if it is something bad I know that he has good planned and not bad for those who follow him. So since I KNOW this why am I having these panic attacks? Please anyone who reads this, please pray for me that I find peace. Maybe I go through this because I need to become closer with God. James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

I plan to make an appointment with my doctor soon and I will keep praying for God's peace to settle over me once more.

Earthquakes in Diver Places

My heart breaks for the people of Haiti. I have been watching a lot of CNN. I have been seeing all the devastation and can't even imagine having to live through it. Who knows what we might face in the future here? It could one day happen in the United States. Even in the South Eastern states. In Northern Alabama. I would like to think we are in a rural setting enough to survive, but when push comes to shove who knows? We have a well, lots of ponds near to get water and fish from. If they go dry I know how to catch dew and rain water to drink. I think I could get a fire started easily enough. (I love the trick with steel wool and a battery). We have tents, campers, but definitely not enough can foods. We definitely have guns and ammo to protect our supplies. I will definitely start trying to buy up some can foods just in case. Who knows what may happen in the future? We are no better than they are to go through a natural disaster. I pray that we never have to go through anything like this, but I would like to be prepared just in case.

Christmas 2009

We had a different kind of Christmas this year. Because of economic reasons Momma, Mike, Brandon, Nathaniel and I drew names. This way we only had to buy one gift each. It started out for economics but ended in a reminder to me. It reminded me what Christmas is really all about. It was also about one gift. The most precious gift ever given. Jesus came to earth as a little baby. Even though He came in love He was mistreated, tortured and hung on a cross. He loves us so much He came to die on the cross for us so we could be reconciled to God in the only way possible.

I want Christmas of 2009 to always be a reminder to me what Christmas is REALLY all about.

If your not saved please take this to heart. Jesus loves you so much and wants you to be reconciled to Him. Just believe in your heart that He is the Son of God, died on the cross for your sins, was raised from the dead three days later. Confess and ask Him for forgiveness for all your sins. It really is this simple. It will be the most important decision you will ever make and will be the happiest day of your life.

Christmas Traditions

As time goes by Christmas Traditions naturally change. When we still lived up on the mountain, we would always go to the Hartselle Christmas Parade every year. We would park on Main Street and go into Johnny's, which is now Willie Burger's, and eat and then walk up and down Main Street and window shop. When we moved here to Speake we started going to the Moulton parade but that lasted for only for about 2 years. We have went to Calvary Assembly's Now and Then plays but that hasn't really caught on very much either. We went again last night and I hope that it will start being a tradition. I really enjoyed it very much.

Family traditions are very important for me but not for my guys. Which makes me sad. I would love to have something that we do each year together come rain or shine. My guys are just not interested. I can hardly get them away from their TVs, computers and gaming systems. I will not give up though. I'm stubborn and will continue to try.

Teresa's Day Out

I got to spend time with momma today. I also spent Tuesday with her. Tuesday we went to Marx Optical to get her eyes examined. She definitely needs glasses. (I think she should wear them all the time) but she doesn't think so. I did convince her to wear them while she reads and drives. She was just going to buy herself reading glasses but she really needs them when she drives also. I don't often win battles but thank goodness I won this one. We went to the mall so she could spend the gift certificate that she won at the fashion show. They had it at church to benefit the Cancer Society. We then were going to eat at the $5.00 Buffet but hat to eat at the Catfish Buffet instead. It now cost $8.50 each to eat instead of the original $5.00. It's exactly the same with the exception of maybe more fish on the buffet and of course the higher price. Today she drove me to Hartselle to the bank and we then went to Wal-Mart and Cato's. She bought herself a beautiful sweater to go with her new tan dress pants. We then came back to her house and she put away the few groceries that she had bought. We then headed to Moulton. She bought my lunch at Western Sirloin. We had the broiled lemon peppered fish lunch. She had a baked potato and I had the fries. We then went to Moulton Wal-Mart and then back home. Grand total I spent $0.00. Priceless. lol. I owe her at least two lunches when Mike goes back to work full time.
I hope that Automatic goes back to 40 hours soon. It is so hard to make it on 32 hours pay each week. If it weren't for Brandon and Nathaniel helping out we definitely would have already gone under. I don't feel too bad taking their help since they both still live at home and have no bills. My car doesn't run so I don't have a way to go to work even if I had a job. My hands are kind of tied right now. Enough of that. Things ARE going to get better and I have to remember that there are a lot of folks a lot worse off than us. I need to quit feeling sorry for myself. : )

Good Folks in this World

I had taken Mike and Nathaniel to the Doctor's office yesterday afternoon. When we returned home we saw that someone had left a note on our door telling us to look on top of my car. They had left a box of food. We recognized the handwriting when compared to the Missed you last Sunday postcards that Mike had been sent. No doubt in my mind that it was left by the Pastor and his wife.

Mike has been cut down to 4 days a week for several months now. He is the only one in the family that is employed. He was out of work most of last week and yesterday because of sickness. No work equals no pay. Trust me, it will come in very handy and we WILL pay it forward as soon as we are back on our feet.