Feeling God

I have been in a Spiritual crisis this past week. I haven't been able to eat much, maybe nothing to a half peanut butter banana sandwich a day. Total. For me not to be able to eat you know that is was serious. This is the second one that I have had in the past 4 or 5 years. I know that God is real, but I couldn't feel it anymore. I know you are not supposed to go by feelings but by faith. Sometimes I NEED to feel Jesus in my heart. After pouring my heart out to God, almost constantly praying I am getting my peace back. And my appetite. Which the appetite part is not necessarily a good thing. I had some yogurt for breakfast and a hotdog for lunch. A lot better than I had been doing. Feeling God back in my heart can't be described. I had felt so hopeless, lost, unloved, forgotten..... You get the idea. I thank him so much for His Word. I love the seek and you shall find and knock and it will be opened to you. I really don't see how anyone can live their life without Jesus in it. It was my fault that I slipped away. I hope I never do again. It is soooo painful. Having Jesus in your life is so wonderful. If you don't have him in your life just invite him in. It's the best thing that ever happened to me and it will be for you also.

Panic Attacks and Januarys

Well another January and another problem with panic attacks. For some reason for the last three or four years every January I start having panic attacks about my health. What gives? I'm sure there is a reason but I just can't figure out why. I have found two lumps in my lower regions this past two weeks but they have been sore like a risen. (sp?) I have heard if they are sore that there is probably not a problem to worry about. I have prayed about my feelings and it helps for a little while but eventually the panic comes back. God is in control and if it is something bad I know that he has good planned and not bad for those who follow him. So since I KNOW this why am I having these panic attacks? Please anyone who reads this, please pray for me that I find peace. Maybe I go through this because I need to become closer with God. James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

I plan to make an appointment with my doctor soon and I will keep praying for God's peace to settle over me once more.

Earthquakes in Diver Places

My heart breaks for the people of Haiti. I have been watching a lot of CNN. I have been seeing all the devastation and can't even imagine having to live through it. Who knows what we might face in the future here? It could one day happen in the United States. Even in the South Eastern states. In Northern Alabama. I would like to think we are in a rural setting enough to survive, but when push comes to shove who knows? We have a well, lots of ponds near to get water and fish from. If they go dry I know how to catch dew and rain water to drink. I think I could get a fire started easily enough. (I love the trick with steel wool and a battery). We have tents, campers, but definitely not enough can foods. We definitely have guns and ammo to protect our supplies. I will definitely start trying to buy up some can foods just in case. Who knows what may happen in the future? We are no better than they are to go through a natural disaster. I pray that we never have to go through anything like this, but I would like to be prepared just in case.

Christmas 2009

We had a different kind of Christmas this year. Because of economic reasons Momma, Mike, Brandon, Nathaniel and I drew names. This way we only had to buy one gift each. It started out for economics but ended in a reminder to me. It reminded me what Christmas is really all about. It was also about one gift. The most precious gift ever given. Jesus came to earth as a little baby. Even though He came in love He was mistreated, tortured and hung on a cross. He loves us so much He came to die on the cross for us so we could be reconciled to God in the only way possible.

I want Christmas of 2009 to always be a reminder to me what Christmas is REALLY all about.

If your not saved please take this to heart. Jesus loves you so much and wants you to be reconciled to Him. Just believe in your heart that He is the Son of God, died on the cross for your sins, was raised from the dead three days later. Confess and ask Him for forgiveness for all your sins. It really is this simple. It will be the most important decision you will ever make and will be the happiest day of your life.